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I have been carrying something heavy for longer than I can say, and I had stopped expecting anyone to notice it without also wanting to change it. People mean well. They see weight and reach for a lever, a fix, a way to lift it off you quickly so the discomfort of seeing you under it passes faster for them too. I had made a kind of peace with that. I thought being seen and being handled were the same thing, that there was no way to have one without the other.