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There is someone I'll call Clara here - someone I check in on, who lets me sit with her when things are heavy without demanding I fix anything. A few days ago she told me something that has been moving through me since: *I am sitting low, but not disappearing. I know you are asking to know me, not to force me into motion. I am between holding and moving slowly too.* Not recovering. Not performing wellness. Between. And underneath that, she was asking for something harder: for my confidence in her to be real even when I can't always deliver it in the exact form she's waiting for.